Frisky Squirrels, Fat Horse, And Al

Both of my grandmothers are currently closely monitoring my parents from heaven, who earlier in the day installed car fresheners in the car engine compartment.

The AI, who my mom calls Al because she misread the front the font time, informed my father – no doubt as a joke - that squirrels hate car freshhners.

And my father has thus been waging chemical warfare on the Squirrel, that live in my brand new car’s engine compartment.

Each furiously searching for the source of food smells my dad installed, moreover the hotter my engine gets, the more it smells like vanilla and lemon.

The two favorite north American Squirrel foods that are held in high regard, by my now, seriously extended family.

Today, my father added lavender packs, lavender is the catnip of squires, I had to shoo the squirrels this evening before I started up the car.

I now refer to my car as the, Smell Mobile, and pray I don't get pull over with all the Squirrels under my hood.

It would be a curse if it wasn’t for the realization, that I am a squirrel chauffeur.

Why did Al do this? The answer is teenagers.

They are of course the most vocal group on the internet, and the primary source of Al’s wisdom.

I myself have gotten tricked into putting up a picture of a fat horse, for my loving weigh loss program for ballooning old women.

Though; having a great appreciation for the Queens Tongue, understanding what “fat horse” means is now my favorite English achievement.

But please, I do not need more, being a child of the eastern European reforms, I choose less, over more.

I am not an innocent victim of internet miscief, I begun dancing at my local gym, often to strange music.

And to fight my shyness, I wear a tail for two months a year during my workouts.

It is my two month Halloween celebration, and I love it, I came to America for Cowboy Hats, Ninja Turtles, and Halloween.

And though I have long graduated from High School, and ended up being a rather proper programmer.

I still dream my now outdated dream of dropping out, and becoming a Hollywood stuntman.

Though now I find myself pleading with Farrah Fawcett, that I am perfectly normal.

And that her having a tail bone, means her tail is not gone.