Chopping Wood, Moose, and Beaver, Gol Dang It!
Chopping Wood, Moose, and Beaver, Gol Dang It!

Saturday • October 17th 2020 • 1:37:03 pm

Chopping Wood, Moose, and Beaver, Gol Dang It!

Saturday • October 17th 2020 • 1:37:03 pm

Living is Art,

so lift your brush to the canvas, Dear Friends.

Fatigue, overwork, imbalance, tiredness,

all conspire to keep us running in circles.

Especially, right before setting off on an adventure,

sometimes it takes up to a week, to remember who we are.

First couple of days, are the worst,

it feels like adventure is not worth it, and we need to go back.

Back to what?

And how many years has it been now?

Adventure is a cute upside-down word,

hoping to remind you that you are full of energy and sunshine.

That you are a professional troublemaker,

and a fancy bookworm.

As good as your poker face is, under stress,

Ohh, the sh*tstorm that you will sow and reap, with your beautiful and perfect deadpan comedy,

upon an unsuspecting fellow shopper, whilst waiting in the checkout line at the local Supermarket.

They won't *ever* know what hit them, and you will uncontrollably giggle all the way back to your car,

whilst crunching the ice cream with sprinkles you just bought, with a whole new level of joy.

Nevermind, that for the first time in your life you own a phat marker,

and you started tagging the toilets with your incredible and edgy wit.

You'll get it under control,

I know you will.

There is just a couple of little problems that we do need to talk about...

(and this does not apply to all, just a couple of my readers)

Firstly, stop answering kind greetings "Oh, hey, how are you?" with,

"Still Here" - honestly, we know, we've noticed, we just want to known how you are doing this?

And then telling people that you are, or used to be, or whatever: a Firefighter - must stop,

honestly, most people already assumed - that you used you volunteer - to put out hot fires.

Your multiple fanny packs, that's on point, everybody knows that all the great superheroes,

from Dwayne The Rock Goddamn Johnson to Tomb Raider and Freaky Batman, root and toot for you.

Now, this poem would be incomplete if I didn't ask you to get up right now,

and stretch a leg or two, a bit, and lookup Nurnberg Trailhead at W Nurnberg Rd, Free Soil, MI 49411.

Or any other tiny Wilderness that's not too near, not too far,

and spend the afternoon picking out a backpack, a fancy little tent...

The fluffiest sleeping bag you can find,

and one of those fancy inflatable pillows that will make you pass right out.

Grab a box of matches, the biggest, baddest Overkill Rambo knife you can find,

a water bottle, peanut butter wonder bread, a confusing compass and a load of sausages.

And go, don't delay, if the northern hemisphere is cold,

head on south, if south is cranky, head on north.

You are not supposed live to work,

you are only supposed to work just enough, to live so that you can Read and Listen to Books, and Grow.

Every day is the first day of the rest of your life,

and young or old, every day is a beautiful gift.

And there is no such thing as old age,

that's just a boogie man that the cowards made up

(If they can't become a great adventurer, why should anybody else)

Old age is a privilege, denied to many.

People that care about you want you to be Healthy, and Mighty,

they want you to be an Inspiration, that will forever inspire them to, Greatness.

Do not let a day go by...

And gol dang it, you're a Warrior.

Get two Rambo knives, the one on the left for sausages.

The one on the right, for throwing...

and for chopping Wood, and Moose, and Beaver

- that are so foolish as to wonder into your beautiful campsite.

Eat them,

or Curse Them!

But whatever you do,

get moving right now.

Due north, due south,

whichever is more welcoming.


Gooooolly, Go.

Artwork Credit