Hard Adventure; Or, A Workout Is The Worst Thing You Can Do
Hard Adventure; Or, A Workout Is The Worst Thing You Can Do

Sunday • March 17th 2024 • 12:03:44 am

Hard Adventure; Or, A Workout Is The Worst Thing You Can Do

Sunday • March 17th 2024 • 12:03:44 am


I was at my doctors office, and I started complaining to a lean old person.

I said my knees hurt, from jogging around town, and he said; jogging on concrete is the worst thing you can do.

The old man, was a marathon runner, he ran them all, and he was just getting started.

To me my slow concrete pounding of ten plus miles, at 280 pounds, or mostly fat, was the best thing.

To him, it could not be any worse.

This is the motivation behind the the title of this text, a workout is the worst thing.

Ladies and germtermen, we got screwed, the leaders of the world are not trying to make it better.

They a want an obedient workforce of well trained workers, and could not care less about how effective your schooling experience was.

You have been made poor on purpose, to make you fuel an economy that barely works.

Your teachers let you memorize and slide not because they were nice to you, but because they just wanted to get paid - you were tricked into cramming.

If you don’t like it, you may choose from a range of anti depressants.

Legal drugs, carcinogenic tobacco, and even more carcinogenic beer and alcohol.

Drinks so vile, that alcohol based mouthwash, is being taken off the shelves.

Nobody cares about your health, but the GDP, Hospitals and Drug Makers sure cares about your sickness.

Now, to understand what a workout is, you have to see it as a compressed version of adventure.

To understand how bad sitting on a machine, or resting for more than a few seconds is.

Know that a workout is the poor person’s version, of walking 15 or 20 miles on most beautiful hiking trails.

Where you will discover visions of nature, so breath taking, sitting down will be all you can do.

In a workout, you take that heavy backpack, the upwards winding trail, and compress it into a single hour or two.

You are compressing 20 miles of hard earn trail, into two hours of a bastard coyote ugly excuse for an adventure…

In a sticky, smelly, boring, box of a building, filled with gassy people of all ages…

Who drank a protein milkshake before getting there, and will burp ungodly things while at it.

To sit during your workout, to rest to relax, only plays into that world of political arrogance and ignorance.

You are a miracle of the universe, emerged out of accidents of physics, chemistry, biology, and evolution.

You are so special, that you by far exceed, the status of Universal Royalty – and no crown could ever do you justice.

Your time is not only precious for you, but for the universe as well.

Because never again in all the infinity of time, will atoms come together to make another you, not exactly.

So listen, with politics what they are, you are your only hope to stay as healthy for as long as you can.

To live not just longer than your crooked leaders hoped for, but longer than universe had intended to host you.

A workout, is something you do, between adventures, so that you stay fit for all the real challenges ahead.

If you feel frail, or too fat, to workout for real between great adventures, then this is surely one of the greatest mistakes you will ever make.

And all things considered, not keeping fit, come your final days, will be your greatest regret.

Take your time at the gym more seriously, because a workout is by far the least you can do for your older self.

There is no such thing as sets and reps, or lifting 30 times and calling it done.

This is as much of an invention by the arrogant and lazy, an performance enhancers are an invention of the clever drug dealer that feasts on that feasts laziness.

Everyone is cutting corners, hoping to find that fool born every minute to make another sale.

Do not become their pray, do not let your health fade away.

A real workout is a simulation of a hard adventure, it is a non stop walk across deep and dark woods.

With 10 pounds of much needed supplies, in each hand.

You won’t make it to the camp the first few months, but unlike in real adventure

You get a reset every day, wherever you failed, you start in the same place, by showing up at the front desk.

You get the dumbbells you can carry, starting with 3 or five pounds, and you walk, patiently waiting for your body t adapt.

To a longer distance, a longer stay, heavier dumbbells, faster pace, and then a dumbbell shuffle dance, and a marathon run, and dumbbell sprint…

All the way out, until you become a dumbbell ultra.

And become so fit, until you can run multiple consecutive marathons.

Until the politician that had you pegged for a worker, will look at you and your body with jealousy as their withers away from greed.

Until, the universe, who once only perceived you as a hope, will witness you as a dream come true.

And until you, having checked out every narrated book from all the libraries you ran past, rise in knowledge and wisdom, to grow all the way up and become a great being.

All the way out, where your eldest self in their final days, won’t have a single regret about giving into mediocrity, or the status quo.

Or choosing the easier wrong, over the massive more challenging, right.

A workout, is the worst thing you can do, may you walk all the worlds greatest trails, and may your backpack never feel light.

Artwork Credit